I'm ecstatic with the Supreme Court ruling, burying DOMA and all that bullshit. I'm also freaking the f out tonight knowing that our beautiful state (California, I love you, you're the greatest state of all -- sing it!) acknowledged Prop 8 with no waiting period!
I love the LGBT community and especially those in my life that fall into that community.... however, I am not only happy because of all the wedding invites I expect ASAP [probably none, but I stay optimistic.... because it will give me an excuse to shop], but because I feel like this is a sign of our world embracing happiness.
I've always known what I believe. My beliefs aren't necessarily based on any particular religion, but based more on who I am, what I find comfortable as an outside religion [same principles, less organization] and the standard right & wrong concept. However tonight, I got in a war with some asshole on Facebook and after fighting for who-knows-how-long, the argument actually made me question myself {ashamed to EVEN SAY!}
I have an open mind but I am admittedly [let's be honest] stuck in my ways..... I am not so CLOSED MINDED that I don't see another's point of view.
So after fighting my case, and basically losing my shit at the end, due to the other party's bigotry and closed mindedness - bullshit responses, I left the conversation. I walked onto my patio, sat down and begin to pray.
Who I was praying to, I don't know. If I have to say.... was praying to the God I grew up with, the Universe I respect, the things I do not know and the questions I can't answer. I essentially prayed to myself and anyone else who may be listening.
I started crying immediately. I left organized religion because 1. religion & beliefs are circumstantial, 2. I never felt I was truly accepted if I wanted to be purely me, 3. I freaking ball my eyes out at church, and I hate it! [maybe there are some underlying issues that we shouldn't touch, now. This is about the gays... not me.]
So, I asked God/Zeus/Buddha/the Universe/my conscience for guidance. "Is what I believe what you want?" "What do you want?" ["If the Bible was written in your word, have you evolved like we have?"] I don't know if he answered, but immediately following my prayer, I was compelled to write this post..... and in someway [since I haven't touched my blog in months], I think it was Him compelling me to speak OUT LOUD about what he feels.
I might not have something leather-bound to translate HIS message, but my little black Macbook will do just fine for now.
God -- thank you for validating my feelings and answering my prayers. I really needed you tonight.... and so did all of those defending themselves, their best friends and their loved ones against an evil.
Dedicated to the LGBT community. Your strength & love have made this day possible. Congratulations on this accomplishment. We have a long way to go, in order to ensure these rights for the rest of the states, but we have won a battle.... and have the passion to win the war. xoxoxox
