Hey God! It's me, Jenna.

Let's talk Gay, Gay, Gay all DAY!

I'm ecstatic with the Supreme Court ruling, burying DOMA and all that bullshit.  I'm also freaking the f out tonight knowing that our beautiful state (California, I love you, you're the greatest state of all -- sing it!) acknowledged Prop 8 with no waiting period!

I love the LGBT community and especially those in my life that fall into that community.... however, I am not only happy because of all the wedding invites I expect ASAP [probably none, but I stay optimistic.... because it will give me an excuse to shop], but because I feel like this is a sign of our world embracing happiness.  

I've always known what I believe.  My beliefs aren't necessarily based on any particular religion, but based more on who I am, what I find comfortable as an outside religion [same principles, less organization] and the standard right & wrong concept.  However tonight, I got in a war with some asshole on Facebook and after fighting for who-knows-how-long, the argument actually made me question myself {ashamed to EVEN SAY!}

I have an open mind but I am admittedly [let's be honest] stuck in my ways..... I am not so CLOSED MINDED that I don't see another's point of view.

So after fighting my case, and basically losing my shit at the end, due to the other party's bigotry and closed mindedness - bullshit responses, I left the conversation. I walked onto my patio, sat down and begin to pray.

Who I was praying to, I don't know.  If I have to say.... was praying to the God I grew up with, the Universe I respect, the things I do not know and the questions I can't answer.  I essentially prayed to myself and anyone else who may be listening.

I started crying immediately.  I left organized religion because 1. religion & beliefs are circumstantial, 2.  I never felt I was truly accepted if I wanted to be purely me, 3. I freaking ball my eyes out at church, and I hate it! [maybe there are some underlying issues that we shouldn't touch, now.  This is about the gays... not me.]

So, I asked God/Zeus/Buddha/the Universe/my conscience for guidance.  "Is what I believe what you want?"  "What do you want?"  ["If the Bible was written in your word, have you evolved like we have?"]  I don't know if he answered, but immediately following my prayer, I was compelled to write this post..... and in someway [since I haven't touched my blog in months], I think it was Him compelling me to speak OUT LOUD about what he feels.  

I might not have something leather-bound to translate HIS message, but my little black Macbook will do just fine for now. 

God -- thank you for validating my feelings and answering my prayers. I really needed you tonight.... and so did all of those defending themselves, their best friends and their loved ones against an evil. 

Dedicated to the LGBT community.  Your strength & love have made this day possible.  Congratulations on this accomplishment.  We have a long way to go, in order to ensure these rights for the rest of the states, but we have won a battle.... and have the passion to win the war. xoxoxox

"It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together… and I knew it." – Tom Hanks, Sleepless In Seattle